Thankful Series - Friends
Hey Hey Friends!
I am so excited to be writing this letter to you all. As a staff caregiver, I’ve witnessed many moments where my care recipient(s) were lonely and really sad. One time that really stands out for me was a Christmas party where one of my care recipients did not have any family or friends come, and there were many tears at bedtime that night. Fast forward to a year or two later, and they had so many friends from church show up for them and enjoy the party with them and they were so excited that it was making it hard to get them ready for bed because they were just so joyful. So, to the friends that show up, thank you from the bottom of my heart, you are the sweetest and do so much to improve our care recipients quality of life. Thank you.
The sweetest thing about your friendship with our care recipients is that you are involved because you want to be. You choose to press in and be there for the mess and the extra difficulties – and don’t get me wrong here, I strongly believe that our care recipients are some of the most joyful and strong people in the world (just wait until it’s their week over Thanksgiving, that letter might just turn into a book). What I mean by this, is there is something so sweet, so genuine, and so powerful about being there when you don’t have any other reasons for being there other than love. As much as I love and care for my care recipients, it doesn’t change the reality that I am a staff caregiver who is paid to be there (at least most of the time). And family caregivers often didn’t choose this life either and while they do so many remarkable things stepping up and going the extra mile, there’s still the family commitment there that shifts what choice really looks like. But our sweet friends, they choose to press in regardless of whatever messiness and added difficulties may come. As a staff caregiver, I am so thankful for your friendships with our care recipients.
I am also so thankful for the way that you all stand in the gaps – when there isn’t family, but you make the moves to make birthdays and holidays special or when family needs some respite and you’re there. As a staff, knowing there are friends who want to love on and celebrate and just simply enjoy life with my care recipients, I am so encouraged and thankful for the ways we get to bond over our love and joy for our care recipients. Caregiving as a family caregiver or a staff caregiver can be so exhausting and challenging, knowing our care recipients have friends who are willing to help stand in the gaps and be there to support them and have fun with them makes many extremely hard days so much better – thank you.
And most of all, thank you for the fun you bring! I love the carefree and fun energy you bring. We as staff and family caregivers can get so bogged down in the details of caregiving and protection and concern for our care recipients that we overlook or have a hard time bringing the fun. So to the friends who come and play games, watch movies, or help facilitate super fun outings (beach days, zoo trips, all the things) – THANK YOU! The lighthearted energy that you bring to our care recipients (and to us as caregivers too), is just the best!
A note to caregivers:
If your care recipient doesn’t have great friends yet, I just want to encourage you that I believe there is community and great friendships out there for them. I also want to encourage you that you and your care recipient are not alone, I’ve been there and I’ve seen it, and I know there are a lot of other people out there who have walked through these lonely seasons too. I know me saying this won’t take the pain of loneliness and isolation away, but I hope this letter gives you a picture of what your portion is, a glimpse into your future with great friends for your care recipient. If you and/or your care recipient are walking through loneliness and isolation right now, shoot me a message I’d love to get to know your care recipient. But even more than that, get plugged in with a church in your area, spend time at adaptive playgrounds if that’s something your care recipient enjoys, ask your medical providers about support groups or community groups, and check out your local community centers for different groups that can help your care recipient to meet and get connected with other people. You are not alone, your care recipient is so wanted and has so much value. Keep stepping. You can do this.
I have so much love and respect for all of you caregivers, friends, and care recipients.
Much love,
Rebecca <3