What is Your Why: In Extravagance
Welcome back for the second week of this What is Your Why series. Today we’re diving into what is your why behind extravagance in caregiving. I know that just the day-to-day aspects of caregiving can be exhausting and daunting to think about and I really hope that spending some time talking about the times of extravagance in caregiving doesn’t stress you out. I really believe that going the extra mile and choosing extravagance is such an honor and has always provided me with so much joy, not to mention the great joy my care recipients have had
… At least most of the time. I’ve definitely had those times when I’ve done so much to make a day extra special or extra fun and then it’s just a really hard day for my care recipient and it does not go anywhere close to how I hoped it would --- have you been there? I’d love for you to share your biggest failure story in the comments!
Okay now here’s one of the successful extravagance stories. The birthday of one of my care recipients, is right in the middle of our super crazy and short staffed times of the year (unfortunately it’s starting to feel like that all the time these days). Utterly exhausted, I was able to make the choice, in a week where I had worked 82.5 hours of patient care, to come in on Saturday, my care recipient’s birthday, to get them out of the house and to enjoy a fun activity. This care recipient doesn’t have very much family involvement in their life, and it’s basically a given that their family won’t be acknowledging their birthday. In this situation, it would have been so easy for me to say I’m exhausted and had major medical concerns come up with another care recipient earlier in the week, we’ll celebrate their birthday next week when there’s more staff and when I’m less busy. But by humbling myself and being mindful that this is their whole life – and supervising the group home was just a short two-year season of my life, I was able to joyfully make the decision to make their birthday so special. Thinking about their experience, that their birthday has always been during the busiest and hardest time of the year for the group home industry, and it likely will always be a time of increased stress for those providing care for them, made it so much easier for me to make the choice to honor their birthday well. By choosing not to make an excuse for why I couldn’t be extravagant for their birthday meant I was choosing an 89.5-hour week. And when I think about what happened for me…. I was exhausted, absolutely, but I would have been exhausted even if I didn’t work that extra 7 hours. I was also filled with joy and so much happiness, seeing them enjoy his time out and about celebrating their birthday. Today as I tell you this and I get to look at a picture of them and I together on this outing, my heart is so full, and I have so much joy looking at how much they enjoyed the extra effort. And best of all, it raised the bar. Rather than being able to just push off their birthday celebration for when it’s convenient for someone else, it has now been five years of choosing to schedule their birthday activities first, there is a standard for what their birthday will look like each year, and staff at the house are excited to play their part in continuing the tradition for them. When we choose extravagance, we have the opportunity to raise the bar for the day-to-day aspects of caregiving too – what an impact we can make.
I believe there is so much fruit that comes from days of extravagance. I think we can see this in so many areas of our lives, whether it’s a date day with your significant other or an outing to the zoo with your care recipient. I believe our days of extravagance provide nourishment for the fruits of our caregiving. I’ve seen many of my care recipients display greater peace and contentment in their day-to-day following those days of extravagance. I know for some of us, it can be really challenging to decipher what our care recipients may understand or be able to express. But choosing to honor them and as they see the sacrifices you are willing to make for them, the peace and security that that facilitates, I believe can bless your relationship and the quality of life for your care recipient for years to come.
Additionally, I believe that the moments and days of extravagance can encourage us in the day-to-day too. When we choose to go all out on the big things – sacrificing a weekend or rest or whatever it may be to facilitate a big outing or activity, is so encouraging for those really long and hard mundane days. If you can choose to sacrifice in a big way, how much easier does that make it to take the little steps in the day-to-day to honor our care recipients well?
If you’ve made the sacrifice for a moment of extravagance in caregiving, I want to honor you for choosing the more difficult, yet much more rewarding path. I also want to encourage you to pick a reminder from that, maybe it’s a picture of you and your care recipient from that day, or even just a printout of a park map or whatever it may be that reminds you of that moment. Print it out and place it somewhere you see it when you’re providing care. I really believe that the visual reminder of the extravagance and the joy that follows the extravagance can be so impactful for stirring up joy and peace in the day-to-day of caregiving.
Prayer –
Lord, may we be caregivers that live out John 15:13, that “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.” May we be a people willing to go the extra mile for our care recipients. May we be the caregivers who know the value of our care recipient’s lives and are willing to sacrifice from our own lives for them. Lord, please fuel all the caregivers with endurance and encouragement they need to faithfully choose the best for their care recipients and for their hearts to be flooded with your joy and peace (Romans 15:5 “May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had.).
Jesus, we love you.
Amen.